4 Reason Why We Find it Hard to Communicate with Our Kids

By Lessons4All - September 05, 2021

Have you ever felt that our kids become distant from us as they grow older — or after certain things that we went through, such as quarrels, disagreements, or even gestures? Well, there is something called “Violence communication”.

Yes! you heard it right, many families have been using such a method without knowing hence. Here are 4 of the essences of violent communication that you may have used in your parenting journey that may result in harder communication with our kids and further distancing.

Character judgment

Character judgment

It is a human habitual aspect that often judges its character or a person after they have done something or a certain movement before understanding the situation. We often judge them naturally if they were doing something Right, Wrong, Good, Bad, or does he have a good family upbringing background. For example, we often judge our kids when they are failing their test equates to them not listing in class or they are playing during their best English tuition in Singapore. Little did we try to understand why they failed, is it because they have difficulties catching up in the class or are unable to focus in class? Well, there might be much underlying reason which is just possible for us to solve as parents if we tend to see them rather then blaming. Such judgment often holds a negative impression on our kids and with time and repetition, it may accumulate to cause further distancing between the child and the family.

Comparison

Comparison

As we gradually start to expose our kids to more activity and responsibility, many will tend to think about why other kids are so great at this, that and comparing it to their kids which bring the question of why and how can they do better and improve. This often happens as the comparison has to become a part of our society, kids have experience comparison within their peers in school, enrichment class, and their best English tuition in Singapore. After being home kids still have to experience comparison as a family/ cousins and relative, Having such comparison often has a huge impact on a child’s inner self-confidence and physiological development. The more we compare our kids to one another the more we find that it harder for them to listen as they tend to rebel, and even have the thought of “I’m not perfect, you can go find that perfect kid”

Avoiding Responsibility

Avoiding Responsibility

I believe we may have heard ourselves mention “I have no choice” and that's why I did this to my kids. Often it was revolving around the level of severity in punishment at our kids or how strict as a parent we should be. Well, many parents/ family has been using the word “I have no choice and that's why I hit our kids as an act of discipline” or, “well it's not fair for an outsider to understand the family and judge what's right and what's wrong”. But what we do understand is that have we explored deeply the many available alternative options that we could do to motivate, to change, to redevelop our kids to learn what is right. The words “I have no choice” can be very dangerous that could lead to or justify what we can do and can cause harm. Well, we do have a choice and all parents do. It just does we find the time to understand the roots of the problem and explore the alternative option.

Threatening

Threatening

I believe we have all experienced our parents saying “if you don’t behave you will not have this or will be punished.” We may believe those words are conditioning, but the more we tend to use them the more it will start to lean on threatening. Especially with younger kids, we must be more cautious as they tend to learn from us and we won't wish to enter violence communication with our kids.

Alternatively, if you are interested in knowing all your options available within your location in helping your kid’s learning journey. At Lessons4All we too wrote different types of blogs of kids learning journey academically and non-academical related. The past blog that wrote on learning options “When should we start tuition education in Singapore for my child”. Do check them out Here. We hope this would help you to understand the key attributes that may potentially be impacting your kids' learning journey.

Finding the best English tuition in Singapore or any subject tuition center is easy however, finding the best that works for you is hard. We recommend that parents should approach this with cautiousness, patience, and yet be vigilant in finding the best tuition center in Singapore so that they could save money and time in the future. Check out www.lessons4All.com.sg To find the best English tuition in Singapore. All the best!